4 words: hood of his car
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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