I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
