bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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