I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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