I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's never too late to be topless.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
