Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize