dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
