I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
