and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize