for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize