i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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