What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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