I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
