Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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