it hurts more in the daytime
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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