i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
