I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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