did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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