I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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