I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
