This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
