There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
