mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
soo... how was my night?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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