Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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