Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she peed on how many people?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
