we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We got so high we made milksteak
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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