Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
