So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The Olympian is in my bed
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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