Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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