We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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