I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Let's get the cat blown out
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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