my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
