So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
do nipples grow back?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
