i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think my moral compass just broke
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