I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize