I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
