She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
More tranny stories later!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
