Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
