Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
