Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
