FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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