ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
