Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
