you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
