the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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