Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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