i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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