did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
