I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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