I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
