How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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