I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
