I puked a lego.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
