Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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