doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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