dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
