so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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