Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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