I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
