You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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